


Replicate the Feeling

by orphan_account



Category: Boyfriend to Death (Visual Novels)
Genre: Autistic Character, Plants, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, yeah he's autistic in this fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 05:37:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12336534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lawrence thinks about plants and life.





	Replicate the Feeling

Lawrence picked a dying leaf off the potted plant on the windowsill. He sighed, and looked at the leaf, crumpling it between his fingers. He let the pieces fall to the floor, looking out the window.

It would be so easy to simply open the window as far as he could, break it if he needed to, and plummet to the ground below. The asphalt and cars on the street below looked like a nice place to him. Maybe if he just tired-

He stopped himself, taking his hand away from the window, and looked back to a different plant in his room. He decided to focus on that instead.

An epipremnun aureum, also know as a devil's vine or ivy because it is incredibly difficult to kill. Something him and the plant had in common. He fiddled around with the heart shaped leaf gently, careful not to hurt it. He felt happier.

He looked to another plant next to it. Sansevieria trifasciata, or a viper's bowstring hemp. He snickered, thinking about how it was such an important plant in certain cultures. It was such an interesting thing how different cultures like plants in different ways, and how many uses they had.

He loved plants. He happily paced around the table of plants, thinking about different things about plants, slightly mumbling it out loud. He liked to practice how he would talk to others about how much he loved plants. He never really liked talking to other people, but he loved to info dump about plants.

After about a minute, he sighed and looked back to the window. He bit his lip, no longer smiling. He walked over to his bathroom, looking into the mirror. He noticed how much more tired he looked. He sighed, brushing a few strands of hair out of his face.

He opened the cabinet, and rummaged through, mumbling something as he found the bottle he needed. He read the label a couple times to make sure it was the right thing.

"FOR PAIN"

Yes, that was what he wanted. He sighed and looked around the room for a moment. He scratched the back of his neck. This was what he wanted currently. Maybe in a couple minutes, he thought, he wouldn't want to. But he shook his head.

He opened the bottle and drank the liquid inside, waiting a couple moments before he felt the scars under the bandages burn and a headache start. He sighed and walked back to the room, and laid down on his bed. He didn't plan on sleeping. It would be difficult with the migraine starting to get worse. He stared at the ceiling and thought about how he got here.

Maybe he could see the river another time. But for now, he just had to replicate the feeling of peace, and pain was all he could do to feel better.


End file.
